When all you can do is pray...

Being a pretty independent and spirited person, when I see a problem, my first thought is what I can do to fix it. I try to size it up, look into the possible causes and the roots of those causes. I think about the resources availible and all of the different possible solutions and the outcome they'd have. Then I weigh them against each other and decide how to act.
But it is so different here. I feel helpless and powerless in even begining my usual process because I lack understanding of the culutre, but there is something more to it too, something that is unseen and cannot find expression in words. The spiritual climate here is so different. There are temples everwhere. Almost everyone has a family shrine in their home that they light insences to, leave food for, and pray at every morning. Although many people say that these practices for them are out of tradition rather than belief, the fact remains that they are still worshiping at these pagan altars.
I see a culture living in bondage. They are tired and down-trodden, trying to live up to the unrealistically high expectations placed upon them by their culture. The only sourse of validation and identity for people is found in how well they operate within the cultures framework. Many inside the church seem in bondage to it still.
Recently, the site at which I am serving has found itself a a sort of crossroads. It has been really interesting to see all of the things that have been happening leading up to where they find themselves now. Today they had an important meeting which may effect my service here, but more important is the effect it will have on the church members themselves, the relationship within the members of the body, and the vision of the ministry of the church itself and how it will be that they will act in serving that vision.
At this point I don't know what to hope for, what possible outcome to even pray for- I have no idea even where to begin. I find comfort in praying the words of Christ, "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." There really is nothing in this situation that I can do. But rather than feeling helpless in my lack of control or options, I feel free. I think I give myself too much credit in terms of what I can do and I am so thankful for this humbling experience God is giving me to remind me of where the answers and solutions to life and ministry predicaments come from. Because ultimately, it's God's church, not ours. It's God's ministry, not ours.
Please join me in praying.

A Blessing of a Day!

God blessed my socks off yesterday, and I wanted to share! It all started with a wonderful and uplifting time in God's word, followed by singing morning prayer acapella out of my hymnal (maybe not such a great sound- but it brought back memories of morning chapel at Concordia!). I went to Sanjo kindergarten as usual, but this week I taught an extra class for parents and children who are looking into enrolling in the school. Before the class started, one of the mothers approached me and began to converse in English (rare here). It turned out that she had lived in California for 6 years before her son was born. She told me that I was the second foreigner she'd seen in Sanjo since she'd moved back 4 years ago!!! We exchanged phone numbers and I am praying that it will be the beginning of a new friendship. My kindergarten students were all really energetic yesterday too- but I had just the game- color tag! My ladies class was the best it'd ever been, and I really felt that God not only gave me more patience with my upper elementary kids, but I felt that I am learning more how to communicate love through discipline. I came home and made dinner, and then had a very interesting conversation with a teacher from the University where I teach Tuesdays. He's a Muslim from Lebanon working on his PhD in the pharmacology program; and teaching Arabic classes on the side for the University. (He's taught me two words in Arabic so far- "sahabo" which means hello, and "shukarn" which means thank you.) Anyway, it has been really interesting to learn about his culture and country, and it seems that the doors are begining to open too for conversations about faith. Last night we talked about the reason for moral living in Christianity as opposed to other religions' established moral standards (in Christianity the motive is always love, so outwardly it can look like the morality of other religions, but it is of a different substance entirely), as well as the authenticity and reliability of the New Testament that the church uses today, and why there are so many different faiths claiming inspiration from the same book (this was actually the topic of my senior thesis in my senior seminar class fall semester of '06). I feel so blessed and am so thankful to be serving in all the places and relationships into which God has called me. Thanks again for your prayers!