Change

Whoever said change was a bad thing? Some people vehemently argue it is a good thing. While these two thoughts remain largely subjective to a given situation or one's experience, the characteristic of change that is utterly dependable is its inevitability. It seems we always have to be on the lookout for it; because the moment we become comfortable in the present is the moment it sweeps us away or breaks on the horizon. I suppose to clarify I should say that the above all refers to "macro-change", while we know that there is also a thing called "micro-change" that is occurring in such fluidity all around us that we hardly take notice of its presence.

I feel that in the last few years of my life, really since I finished my undergraduate classes, I have been living in a state of constant, streaming "macro-change". I write about it today because it seems to be happening in such large proportion, or is getting ready to. Missionaries finishing their service and new ones coming and beginning teaching; sites are growing and shrinking; pastors are coming and going from places (all these things will be officially announced at the end of February); our status as volunteer missionaries has changed to employee (meaning more fundraising, but also the possibility of taking my first call here); changes in weather and my learning to adapt to and live in a cold environment without the comfortable amenities I'm used to; changes in the VYM community (we have a couple who just got engaged : ) ); changes back home in the lives of my friends and family that I'm not able to experience with them; and since coming to this country, there have been a lot of changes in me.

It seems like, in the midst of uncertainty, the temptation to trust in myself always emerges. It is the temptation to worry over what I have no control of. Sometimes it appears as the temptation to try to control the change in a way that looks right to me, or is beneficial in the way I desire. Sometimes it manifests itself as fear or insecurity. The other response to uncertainty one can have is of faith and trust. It is in this response that I find myself humbled, depending less on my own wisdom and knowledge and more on guidence from God.

And so it is in all times of change; we find ourselves faced with the choice of looking to ourselves or looking to God. We can pull away or draw nearer to our God. We can worry or have faith. We can depend on ourselves and our weakness, or we can depend on the One who is mighty and made the world and everything in it. We can think of ourselves and how these changes will personally effect us, or we can think of His kingdom and see how He can be glorified and revealed through the changes. I know I've learned these things before, and I know, no doubt, that I'll come to places in the future where I need to be reminded of them, again and again. I thank God for His grace and patience in teaching me these things.