2 Amazing Things to Report

Greetings! My life has changed in many ways since I got back from the states- accessibility to the Internet and time being one of them. I wanted to write today about two things that I'm praising God for recently.

The first is a student, in first grade. He's always been one of my wildest children and the least likely to pay attention, and then last spring, my site partner Cindy witnessed him sitting in meditative positions, as if doing yoga. As summer came, be began acting stranger and stranger, until he couldn't make it through a class without crying hysterically. One week he came in completely in a trance, and was non responsive to absolutely everything I said and did, his eyes unable to focus on anything. Cindy's nephews were here that week visiting from China, and one of the boys, not much older than my student, came and sat next to him and prayed for him. The other students were clearly frightened by his markedly strange behavior. This particular week though, it was only one other student, so I scrapped the lesson plan of colors and shapes and opened up a children's Bible and did my best to give a bilingual account of the English story. It was only during this time during the class- especially at the point in the story where I spoke of Jesus' death and resurrection that he spoke up and became responsive. From that week on, I began to play worship music in the background during every class- and a miracle happened! From the first class he was better, and he has continued to stay focused to the point that he is accelerating beyond the other students in the class and is now the top student. I shared this news with his mother this last week and even got him to show off his skills in front of her. She was absolutely amazed!!!! "But what about before... he was always crying and hysterical!" I told her about the worship music, and how it calmed her son. She was speechless other than to hug her son and tell him how happy it made her. I continue to learn and grow in my Christian walk... may it always be so! I've always heard how powerful prayer is, and experienced it at times too- but worship... there is so much more going on here than first meets the eye. I have a lot of learning to do about it. But what an amazing thing that simply the power of God's word sung in worship could do such things in my little English class. Please pray that this family will one day join in true hearts of worship with such music and with a body of believers!

The second thing happened just today. I've been thinking about my last months here- how to spend them, and where to invest time and energy. I've spoken with others about this too, and we all agree that there would be nothing worse than for us to leave without having shared the gospel clearly with every person we know, and giving them the chance to respond- one way or another (that part's all God's work!). So I decided to waste no time, and I shared a book in one class today, Heaven is a Wonderful Place. It is a children's story, using simple words and pictures, and it gives such a beautiful explanation of the Gospel and what we have to look forward to- Heaven!!! After reading it, a student commented on one of the final pages (a paraphrase in kids-ese of 1 Cor. 13) by saying that just last week she had felt very angry, and so she opened her Bible to that passage (because it'd come up in class a few weeks earlier) and read it. She felt so much better afterward, calmer, more in control.

God is so amazing! I feel so blessed to be able to watch the way He is using His word to open people's hearts to His message of love, forgiveness, and salvation for all!

Seasons

In the two years that I've spent in Japan, I haven't gone a 6 month stretch without some major change occurring. I came back from a time of visiting friends and family and giving presentations to supporters in the states to find that these next six months would be following suit. God was so gracious in His timing to allow for a time of worship, prayer, and fellowship through a prayer retreat at the end of August. It was then end of the time of ministry in Niigata for my roommate and the time of beginning of ministry and transition for the new missionary and English teacher, James, who arrived just a week ago. Endings and beginnings always seem to be back to back, if not overlapping. Such waves of emotion accompany it all! The image of God as a rock and a fortress has been especially meaningful to me through these times.

Yesterday was a full day, and I specifically remember praying at the beginning of it, thanking God for all the opportunities, interactions, and joys He had planned for it. I met Cindy for lunch and from there went and ran a few errands. Upon returning to my house, many church members showed up to help James move furniture that had been stored in my garage into his new apartment. From there I met a friend, a woman who I met at the train station randomly one night out in Sanjo. She'd invited me to make a guest appearance on a radio show her and her friend host. She picked me up and we discussed the script over dinner. A friend of hers showed up and when he heard I was a missionary he gave me an earful about how Japanese people aren't religious anymore- not since WWII. "They don't even think about religion.... we don't like to talk about deep things... I can't remember the last time I had a serious conversation like this," were among his sentiments.

The broadcast went okay and I was quite relieved when I learned that we were pre-taping the interview, and that it would later be edited and aired, and that we could rerecord should the need arise. Because it was all in Japanese, I was quite relieved to hear this. I was able to share about my experience teaching in Japan, techniques I use in classes, and share about the English opportunities we offer at Nozomi Lutheran Church!

From there we went to an Italian Restaurant that host an open-mic night on the first Monday of the month. I was blown away by how many foreigners I saw in one place! I don't even know how to describe the feeling there, other than to say that foreigners can feel very lonely here- and the often come to Japan because they are running from something back home. I got the feeling that everyone was scoping out and sizing up everyone else, identifying them as potential friend or hook-up, competition, or insignificant. I felt so uncomfortable, but I know that God wanted me there in that place, at that time. As I was walking through the crowd, my eyes briefly made contact with a young woman and we smiled and greeted each other and I kept walking. After I was away, I had this strong urge to talk to her- but I wasn't sure why. I followed up on the urge, but it wasn't so hard because she'd made her way over to my direction and we had a more formal introduction. At this point- I have to just say that sometimes I am amazed at how much complete strangers or people I've just met will share with me. She shared about just having heard people were gossiping and saying unkind things about her. We talked a little about it, and she thanked me, saying she felt better already. She then asked if I was a christian because I'd told her I worked at a church. I said yes and asked her if she was looking for a church. She responded by saying that she was, that she felt like she'd lost God, and wanted to find him. She shared a bit of her story about having grown up in the church, but like many people who leave their faith when they grow up, she was turned off by the way scripture was being interpreted and lived out by those around her. But she's open, and searching. We had a nice conversation in the midst of all the noise.

I feel like God moves things in seasons- from one to the next. Just last week Cindy, James, and I were talking about starting up small groups with the young people God's been bringing in- we left it at "let's pray about it". What does God have planned??? I don't know, but I am confident He's leading us somewhere and I am overjoyed to be on board and for the opportunity to be used for His kingdom!

Sexual Harassment

Just sitting down to dinner now after a full day at the kindergarten in Sanjo. It was a bit of a rough day, but there were also many blessings in the midst of it. The one incident today that sticks out most in my mind happened when I had just arrived at the station in Sanjo. I exited the bathroom at the same time as a group of young men and as I was walking a little ahead of them and could hear them talking. I realized they were calling out; trying to get my attention. They were saying something over and over- and I soon realized it was in English- it was the "f" word. I turned around and made eye contact with one of them. "F*ck you," he said in a very matter-of-fact tone. I continued walking forward and when I got to the train gate, I said sternly in Japanese, "Stop! You're really rude!" as I swiped my train pass. I could hear them mocking me as I walked out of the station. I cried a few tears behind my sunglasses- frustrated over the incident, frustrated over other situations of similar natures that I've encountered in my time living here, and tired of standing out and all of the negative things associated with it. Their words made me feel dirty and defiled.

But as I was walking to the kindergarten I was struck by the power of the truth that God loves these young men- and that as God does weep along-side us when we are hurting, how much more must He grieve for them because they don't know Him; they don't know His love; they are living so contrary to the way He intended them to live and the purposes He created them for as He knit them together in their mothers' wombs. Created in God's image and with the law written on their hearts, their fallen state has calloused over the revelation of that truth. Only in Christ can it be removed. It reminded me of another conversation I had recently with a Japanese teacher who is openly seeking God. She was relating to me the story of a student who kept asking her why things were bad- like murder, suicide, and stealing. Though she was certain these things were wrong, she was frustrated over her inability to articulate why. "It's not just because the school handbook says things are wrong that they are wrong; but I just don't know why." (This lead into a really good conversation, but it's too much to share in this blog.)

Romans 10:14-15 says, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

"Ahhh.... that's right. I'm actually here for these people," came the revelation. Rather than wanting to run from them, my frustrations, and this country I remembered that all of these things are why I'm here- why God brought me here. He's called me to be the light of the world, shining like starts holding out the word of truth, the salt of the earth, the fragrance of Christ- the aroma of death to those perishing and the aroma of life to those who are being saved, an ambassador for Christ and a minister of reconciliation, all things to all people, a foot-washer, a fisherman, a sower, more than a conqueror, transformed and not conformed, and He's called me His-own (among other things :) )

From this change of heart God enabled me to pray in genuineness and sincerity, "Father, forgive them. They don't know what they are doing. Make yourself known to them, and who they were created to be in You."

Silence is Golden???

This last week has been interesting in light of my last blog post. The theme for this month is "family" in our English classes, and in talking with my students about how love and communication occur in Japanese families, they quoted to me the old adage, "Silence is golden". So it's not just in the church here, but an attitude and approach to life.

Saturday night I attended a modern dance performance in which a friend is apprenticing. True to form, it was very modern- but another word I used to describe it to my friend was "dark". The third and final dance was my friends favorite, so I was looking forward to seeing it. But after watching it I began to wonder why. It was a story of a man, a silent figure, who went around choking, suffocating, and imprisoning the people around him. The people he controlled eventually stopped struggling and gave in and began to act in similar ways to the other dancers on stage. There was a woman in a pink shirt who throughout the dance, maintained a posture of fear, trembling, shaking violently in place, in some sort of trance. She'd come out of it from time to time, and tried to show another frightened dancer a view of something outside of that scary world, but in the end, in one such moment, the play ended when the girl in pink stabbed the frightened girl while she was looking to the outside. The girl in pink then stopped shaking and adapted a new composure all together. She calmly walked off stage, turning a stage light off as she did. Whatever evil or fear or force she'd been struggling with throughout the dance had clearly won her over. All the while, throughout the performance, a hooded man in black sat with his back to us. He never stirred or moved, but clearly had an important role in what was happening.

So I asked my friend why it was her favorite- it seemed so dark to me. But for this 23 year old Japanese Christian girl, it was something she could relate to. She said that she often feels the emotions the dancers portrayed- gripped with fear, wanting to scream, but nothing comes out. It was a bit of culture shock for me to realize that the Japanese people in the audience with me liked it not for its darkness, but because it expressed what they are feeling inside. Silence. It can be deafening, and as the dance portrayed, is torturous, agonizing, and hopeless, and certainly not golden.

Many things I have observed or wondered about in this culture- things that the church struggles against and things that people live enslaved to- things I haven't been able to put words to- were illustrated and reinforced through the medium of dance; those struggles and more.

My Most Recent "Mountain-top Experience"

In addition to being Pentecost, Sunday was also "The Global Day of Prayer". Originating from a church in South Africa, people from every country of the world on this day every year pray for the people of the world http://www.globaldayofprayer.com/strategy.php. So I found myself on the top of a mountain on Sunday with three other American missionaries, the church president, and an unbaptized believer who has only recently been attending church. As we climbed the mountain, it seemed to be that the higher we ascended, the less of the valley below we could see. Once on top, we were enshrouded in a cloud and could see almost nothing of the view below. We began to pray together the "Prayer for the World" from the prayer guide, and as we did, the clouds seemed to evaporate around us and lift themselves up off the other mountain range off in the distance. By the time we had finished reading the prayer, we could see beyond the distant mountain range, all the way to the Sea of Japan. The silhouette of Sado Island was also visible, and everything was cast in a pale orange light. Cindy and I were pulling out so many good metaphors for faith from the experience!

After that, we broke off and began to pray individually and read passages of scripture. I wandered off to a higher area away from the view-point, to a view of the other side of the mountain. As I was praying, I saw a Japanese man sitting under a shelter at the top of the mountain (as it was a rainy day) and I decided to pray for him too. A little later I ran into him again at a different overlook. He asked me if we were reading poems. I said no, that we were praying and reading from our Bibles. He told me that he prayed too, but that he wasn't religious. I told him I'd heard similar sentiments uttered by other Japanese people. I then asked him if he thought prayer worked. This launched us into a very interesting conversation about God and prayer, human weakness and limitation, and our need for God.

He then told me that he worked with people who were Christian. I was surprised to hear this as less than 1% of the population here is Christian. I asked him if they were Japanese. He said yes, and that he knew they often talked to each other about their faith, and that they would admit to being christian, but that they never talked to him about their faith. I didn't know how to reply to him. Here is this young man whose open to and interested in hearing about Christianity, and the Christians who are in his life won't talk to him about Jesus. I felt like my heart dropped to my feet. This is by no means an uncommon attitude and belief held by many- if not the majority- of the church here. This same stronghold dates back to the time of the first missionary to land on the shores of Japan, Francis Xavier, a Jesuit priest in the mid 16th century. There is even a book written about that time called, "Silence" by Shusako Endo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silence_(novel)

It just compels you all the more to pray for both the church here to wake up and be the light of the world, the city on the hill, and the salt of the earth that Christ has redeemed them and enabled them to be. It also causes me to pray Matthew 9:37-38 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

Coincidences and Confirmation

This week at our church we've been participating in the "10 days of prayer" leading up to the global day of prayer, which is Pentecost. We've been meeting for an hour of prayer every morning with church members from 6-7 am and in the evening for a "joy hour" or in Japanese "yorokobi ji kan" in which we pray, worship, share ways we see God working, write our own psalms, spend time in silence listening, etc. There's a booklet that goes with it- and I took an English copy to my neighbor, whose an American. We've been talking a bit about faith from time to time when we see each other, and it has been in the last two months, I learned recently, that he has felt a strong desire and hunger for God's word and christian community. He's searching for God's purpose in his life. There's a pastor in the states whose been mentoring him, and recommending books for him to read, and chatting over skype. So on my way to the Bus stop Saturday, I stopped by his house to drop it off. He thanked me, and I left.

Then, on Monday, I was having a day like no other- everything was happening in perfect time- the trains I'd get on getting me to the next train or place just on time, catching the right bus at the right time to get to the seminary just in time, not knowing where to go- but arriving at precisely the moment when Dr. Sack arrived and hearing him yell my name across the quad, meeting our director on the way to Starbucks just as he was about to get lost and go the wrong way, making it to the christian bookstore to buy my bilingual bible (I can't get them in Niigata) in time before closing and there happened to be a subway sandwich shop next door (silly, I know, but its the only place you can get a turkey sandwhich in this counrty! I think God spoils me!!!) These are all small things- but they show the significance of what happened next. I returned to Niigata by Shinkansen. I decided to take the train home from the station, and saw that that too- was just on time. I ran quickly down the stairs to catch the train, and made it to the platform just in time to see the doors closing and the train pulling away. "What??? God, this is not consistent with how this day's been going!" I thought. But then, I thought again. "Maybe God wants me to take the bus- it is a shorter walk from the bus stop to my house than the train station, and my bag is heavy." So I went outside to the bus stop, and, sure enough, the bus that goes along my route home was just pulling in. But, to my surprise, there also was my neighbor!!! Whoa! OK, God definitely wanted me to take the bus. We had a great conversation all the way home about faith and community and a book he's reading now called, "The Shack." I'm not sure what God's intention is in all of the relationships he brings into my life, but I know He has a purpose in them and I pray I'll be his instrument of light and love in them. We are currently praying about starting an English worship service. Maybe there's a connection... :)

For more information about the 10 Days of prayer at our church, check out the website!
http://sites.google.com/site/nozomiprayer/

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Whoever said "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was on to something. I started the day off with a run, and then rolled up my sleeves and whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Every Saturday I attend a prayer group; and, as with most gatherings of church people, there is always food. I usually don't have time to bake- but made a point of it this week as I have a short holiday from teaching. Anyway, the batch made so many that I put them in many containers and went about distributing them to neighbors as well.

Prior to today, I haven't really been able to have good conversations with the older men in the congregation- I think they just don't know what to do with me. One man in particular, who works closely with the English school, won't even make eye contact with me when I say hello and only talks to me when its absolutely necessary, but always interrupts whatever conversation I'm in the middle of with another church member to do so. But today was different. Today he ate my cookies! The transformation was like the stuff of fairy tales! He smiled, laughed, was warm and genuine- all quite suddenly. Now I know you may be suspicious of the ingredients I used in trying to formulate a reason for this change- but I can assure you that I used only FDA approved products (I can't actually back this claim as I'm living in Japan and can't read food labels!)

Anyway, in meeting with this group, I continue to see God's presence and work in the lives of these individuals- and I'm so thankful for it. As my language ability increases and I can understand more of the conversations around me, I am increasingly touched in my own faith by the stories of these people and one woman, in particular's, ability to take life situations and struggles back to scripture and reveal God's design or desire in each circumstance.

Also today I met up with a woman I originally met at the train station a few weeks ago on my way back from teaching at the kindergarten in Sanjo. She is a vocalist, and asked if I'd be willing to help her with her pronunciation of the English songs she's hoping to record this summer. She had her 5 year old son with her, who was less than bashful and initiated the initial greeting with me in English! She turns out to be somewhat famous in this area, singing at jazz clubs and local events, as well as traveling to Tokyo. I don't know how I meet these people sometimes, but trust that God has his reasons and intentions in bringing me into relationships with the people that he does. At the end of the night, she invited me to come and be a guest on a radio program she's involved with- IN JAPANESE!!!!! I was flattered to be asked, but my goodness, speaking Japanese on the radio for lots and lots of people to hear is pretty intimidating- but I think I'm up for the challenge! Back to the cookies- I sent her home with some for her son who was sad not to be able to join us because, well, he's 5 and we were having a meeting. I could tell she was surprised, but also that the gift was well received. Cookies- such a simple thing. But with only one batch, relationships were changed, love was communicated, and stomachs were satisfied!

Elated Hearts <3

I'd like to share a quick story of a joy I had from my adult beginner class. This year, every month in English class, we will spend a little time talking about some cultural aspect of the United States. This month I chose to focus on Easter, because it fell in April this year. Last week I read the story from a children's Bible in English, and this week I played for them a recording from when I sang in Christus Chorus at Concordia St. Paul of "I Know that My Redeemer Lives". They loved it- and described the sound as "calming", "tender", "hopeful", and one student even looked up from her dictionary and said, "My heart feels... 'elated'!" We talked about what "redeemer" means, and why it was that Jesus had to redeem us, and Easter as being a celebration of Christ victory over sin and death, and the hope we can have in faith of eternal life.

I played also for them Schutz' "I Am the Resurrection". We read John 11:25 in Japanese too, after I showed them the words in English. They loved this one too, and one student said, "Our teacher before taught us sometimes too about the Bible, but I didn't believe it then; but now I am beginning to understand." Little by little, what a joy it is to see the seeds of faith God is planting in hearts as he relentlessly pursues the lost! Thanks for your continued prayers!

Hunger and the Gift of Confession

I'm so back-blogged because I haven't had Internet or time in the last month- but so many things have happened and there is so much to thank and praise God for, as well as things to pray about. So stay tuned, I'll try little by little to fill you all in.

Two stories- The first is about a student who just joined my Tuesday class from a different class. Every month this year, we'll focus for part of the class on a different American cultural theme. Because Easter was in April this year, I thought it'd be a great way to bring the story into the classroom every week. This last Tuesday, this particular student was so curious and had so many questions, we spent over half of the 90 minute class on the topic and she asked if she could take the illustrated Arch Book on Holy Week home with her. I of course told her yes, but somehow in the shuffle after class she left without it. Yesterday she was back at the church for something, and was sure to stop by the office and asked again to borrow it! Not only was I happy to see her to give it to her (I felt a bit disappointed when I saw she'd left without it), but it brought me such joy to see that she had come back and made a point to seek it out herself. She's hungry, not unlike many others God is bringing through the doors.

The second story is about me- or rather, how my self-centered worse half got the best of me; and how God's grace covers and restores the messes I make. I was at the kindergarten in Sanjo, and one of the teachers informed me that there was an observer coming to the last class to meet me. Currently the class has no students, as it was created for students transferring from another school who the next week decided to quit. The class had already gone out on the flier, so nothing could be done. It's not bad to have another class, but the truth was that all I could think about was my 2 hour commute each way, the long day that it was already, and how if this student wanted to join the class that currently had no students, I'd have to stay an hour later every week, and get home an hour later, and be even more exhausted. I let my feelings of frustration show to the teacher, and from that point on, something in our relationship changed. She was frustrated with me- rightly so- because I was only seeing the situation as it effected me. And I was complaining about it too. There was an iciness between us, masked by the Japanese formalities of politeness. So while we were still operating on a surface level of kindness and formality, I could also feel distance and coldness between us.

As the day went on, God began to change my heart and show me that I was focusing too much on myself. I'd committed to teaching the class, regardless of who enrolled. Our interactions continued to be strained. I wanted to talk to her about it, and to apologize for my bad attitude, but I worried my Japanese wouldn't be good enough to communicate this and that she wouldn't understand my apology because coming out and admitting directly that you were in the wrong is a very foreign thing in the culture.

I decided to do it anyway; and I think I witnessed a miracle. I could tell that she was really uncertain of how to respond to my admission at first, but a look of relief came over her face, and she smiled and we began talking about other things and laughing together. The coldness was instantly gone, the strain between us lifted. And there was authenticity. Ive witnessed a lot of unspoken bad feelings between people that are masked in formalities, and this situation caused me to wonder what unresolved conflicts may lay between those people. Holding grudges and being unwilling to forgive does nasty things to a person's heart. And hard as it is, its one of the reasons God tells us to do it. I felt such joy after the conversation- the same joy I feel after sharing the Gospel with someone who has a receiving heart in hearing it. Like faith- confession, forgiveness, and restoration are also miracles and gifts from God!

Upcoming Baptisms!

I was surprised to learn in Church yesterday that there would be three baptisms on Nomura Sensei's last Sunday before he moves to Fukushima to pastor a church there. I knew that a young woman who had been coming for a little while and attended the weekly seekers class was to be baptized, but I didn't know who the other two people were; but I should have guessed and when I heard Nomura Sensei announce that one of the people to be baptized was a boy, I immediately suspected that it was a kind new friend I'd made and her son.

About two months ago, this woman's son began attending a kids English class at the church. He had attended a christian kindergarten a few years back, and it was there that he learned to pray before meals and began to learn about a loving God, and his Son Jesus who was sent into the world to die for our sins. His mother shared with me that she had received a Bible as a gift from the teachers of the kindergarten, and that's when her interest in Christianity began. She told me one day over a curry lunch that her son (who is quite energetic for his age) used to be so much worse, especially following a rough time in both of their lives just after her divorce. She had had a lot of stresses in her life at that time, and a friend of a friend who was Christian offered to pray for her. She was so moved by the power of that prayer! She felt peace, and knew that there was something to prayer and to this God that they had just prayed to!

So when she enrolled her son in the English school at the church, she asked about coming to worship as well. She has been at every service since then, with her son, and two weeks ago started bringing her sister as well. She has been so open about her curiosity and desire to learn about the Bible, who Jesus is, and prayer. When Haidee's internship Supervisor Phil was here last week from Concordia St. Paul, she even shared with an entire room of Christians freely about how God had thus far touched her life, even though she stated she wasn't a christian yet. A church member who sometimes hosts the Saturday prayer group, after hearing her desire to learn more about prayer, invited her to the next gathering, which was this last Saturday. She came, and it was there that she shared that her son told her he wanted to become a Christian- her prayer request that day was for guidance in what to do. So we prayed- and sure enough, that night, she decided they would both be baptized together! What a blessing it has been to see this woman's journey of faith lived out so publicly in front of other students who are seeking. I pray that she'll be able to be bold in sharing her faith after she is baptized as it continues to grow, and that God will use her and her story to draw many others to himself through the loving community of the church I feel so blessed to serve with here!

Dog Training

This is a funny true story- no joke! Recently my upper elementary class has been giving me a bit of a tough time in the classroom. They have a few things working against them... the class is on Friday evening, and they've been in school all week. My class is the last thing between them and a bit of rest and freedom for the weekend. They are also at the age where they are becoming very busy in other activities, and may or may not continue studying next year for this reason. Also, their bodies are changing like crazy, and one boy student likes one of the girl students. And from what we remember of Jr. High, can you guess how he shows it? He teases her mercilessly, calls her stupid, laughs at her when she tries to speak in English- all in an attempt to get her to notice him! (I'm certainly glad be be through this stage!)

So, due to the difficulty of teaching this class, I took the advice site partner and roommate Haidee, who shared the story of a class that was ten times worse, and how she was able to modify their behavior using techniques she learned in dog training. So I tried it- I held candy in my hands while I taught and kept them guessing as to when I would reinforce their positive behavior with candy... and so they behaved beautifully the whole class. I am still somewhat in shock- they were like different kids! So I guess the moral really is to "treat em' like dogs!" and then they'll behave and you can teach. Oh, the things I'm learning here! : )

"Shinji Nasai!" Believe!

I love it when God gives us glimpses into the way He's working in the lives of others- especially those who aren't Christian yet. I was blessed with such a glimpse this last Thursday when I went to teach at the kindergarten in Kamo. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, none of the teachers there are Christian, but they are all interested in Christianity and as it is a Lutheran kindergarten, they teach Christian songs and lead meal prayers. They are also studying Luther's Small Catechism once a month with Nomura Sensei (the pastor in Niigata City). I attend chapel there on Thursdays after I finish teaching, where the principle(who is Christian) usually gives a small message about some theme from the Bible.

This last week, the principle was absent, and so one of the teachers gave the talk instead. She told the story of Peter walking out to Jesus on the lake in such an animated way I half expected to see the children spring up from their chairs and join Peter in walking out on the Lake to Jesus. Her message was simple and powerful: "Shinji nasai!" Believe! Don't worry about the wind and the waves; but have faith in the one who made them and has power over them. I was struck by this verb being given in the command form, coming from a woman who has yet to publicly profess her faith in Christ. God is certainly working!

It makes me think of 1 Corinthians 12:3, "Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God says, 'Jesus is accursed'; and no one can say 'Jesus is Lord,' except by the Holy Spirit." I'm so grateful for these glimpses- to see ways God is answering the prayer, "your kingdom come," here in Japan.

Unconventional Teaching

I was so surprised today by the progress I witnessed in my university students. I have watched an unbelievable transformation this semester. I remember the first class, when I had them up and mingling, how they all huddled in the back corner together, practically whispering. And then, on the odd chance that someone might understand them, they put their head into the text book while they whispered to insure that no one would ever hear them speaking English! You can imagine my amazement at the site today, when I looked up and suddenly realized my students were using body language and many weren't even holding their text books! The room was so noisy during the conversation times that I had to shout out to be heard to lead them into the next thing. "OK!" has become my token, round-em'-in phrase, and today I heard a student mimicking me in this- it made me smile : ) .

The approach to education and classroom management is vastly different in Japan than what I experienced as a student in the U.S. Here, students are taught to memorize information from text books and lectures given by professors. When they study, they simply read a book or section over and over and over. Those of you who know me can see what a stretch it would be for me to teach in such a way- and it just doesn't work for the subject matter of English conversation. So I am, what you might call, an "unconventional" teacher in this culture- playing games, music, encouraging my students to assume false identities of famous persons and engage one another in hypothetical dialogues! At first, it felt like I was teaching people how to be creative, then we worked on learning to enjoy ourselves, and now, finally, comes my end goal- to see the students grow in their own personal confidence and ability to use English in daily conversational situations. One student, who always sits stone-faced, actually smiled twice today!

It is a blessing to see students breaking the mold and experiencing a non-Japanese style of learning- and enjoying it! When I think about the obstacles to Christianity within this culture, such as conformity and anti-individualism, I feel hopeful in seeing these young people living outside of the cultural expectations- and I pray it will help them to live outside of them in other realms one day- like faith. Please join me in praying for them, that this freedom will carry over into other areas of their lives, and that they will find the freedom they need to seek truth and that in doing so, God will make himself known to them.

Change

Whoever said change was a bad thing? Some people vehemently argue it is a good thing. While these two thoughts remain largely subjective to a given situation or one's experience, the characteristic of change that is utterly dependable is its inevitability. It seems we always have to be on the lookout for it; because the moment we become comfortable in the present is the moment it sweeps us away or breaks on the horizon. I suppose to clarify I should say that the above all refers to "macro-change", while we know that there is also a thing called "micro-change" that is occurring in such fluidity all around us that we hardly take notice of its presence.

I feel that in the last few years of my life, really since I finished my undergraduate classes, I have been living in a state of constant, streaming "macro-change". I write about it today because it seems to be happening in such large proportion, or is getting ready to. Missionaries finishing their service and new ones coming and beginning teaching; sites are growing and shrinking; pastors are coming and going from places (all these things will be officially announced at the end of February); our status as volunteer missionaries has changed to employee (meaning more fundraising, but also the possibility of taking my first call here); changes in weather and my learning to adapt to and live in a cold environment without the comfortable amenities I'm used to; changes in the VYM community (we have a couple who just got engaged : ) ); changes back home in the lives of my friends and family that I'm not able to experience with them; and since coming to this country, there have been a lot of changes in me.

It seems like, in the midst of uncertainty, the temptation to trust in myself always emerges. It is the temptation to worry over what I have no control of. Sometimes it appears as the temptation to try to control the change in a way that looks right to me, or is beneficial in the way I desire. Sometimes it manifests itself as fear or insecurity. The other response to uncertainty one can have is of faith and trust. It is in this response that I find myself humbled, depending less on my own wisdom and knowledge and more on guidence from God.

And so it is in all times of change; we find ourselves faced with the choice of looking to ourselves or looking to God. We can pull away or draw nearer to our God. We can worry or have faith. We can depend on ourselves and our weakness, or we can depend on the One who is mighty and made the world and everything in it. We can think of ourselves and how these changes will personally effect us, or we can think of His kingdom and see how He can be glorified and revealed through the changes. I know I've learned these things before, and I know, no doubt, that I'll come to places in the future where I need to be reminded of them, again and again. I thank God for His grace and patience in teaching me these things.

In Recent Events

In my newsletter from this last month, I requested prayer God to bless the opportunities that Christmas brings to share its true meaning and joy with people. Goodness- has God been answering these prayers! In my classes yesterday and today I witnessed wonderful things!

In my 5th grade class, we opened the doors on an advent calendar, revelaing a picture and a corresponding verse from the Bible. I taught the students how to find the verse, and we read it in both English and Japanese. One student, Daiki, who often comes early and reads the Japanese Manga Bible, could not put the Christmas story down- he was just devouring it! He came to the church's kids event last weekend too- and was captivated throughout the pastor's message.

In a private lesson this morning with a middle-aged woman, we got to talking about Christmas and what she liked about it. She said it was a time of joy and happiness, but that the "heart" of Christmas in Japan and America are different. This lead into a conversation about hope- and the gift of love and forgiveness through the Christ child. She said for Japanese people, New Years is a time of hope too- they even have parties, called Bonenkais, in which they seek to forget the bad from the past year, and hope for or look forward to the good. They do this by consuming large amounts of alcohol! (One university student told me he has five bonenkais this year to attend!) My student then spoke about hope for the future- how she, every year, has many hopes that she, by her own power and strength, sets out to accomplish. At the end of the year, every year, though, she always feels disappointed in her inability to accomplish or change things. This lead into a conversation about the source of hope- in Japan at New Years, people put their hope in themselves and their own abilities. In the church at Christmas, we put our hope outside of ourselves because we know we fail- but there is one, God, who doesn't. Instead he comes to our aid, serving us and saving us from sin and our hopelessness.

And then, walking home from worship last night with my friend Yuko, we had a wonderful conversation about Christmas, and the difference between its meaning to Japanese people and to westerners/christians. I sent her, earlier this week, the page number of the Christmas story so she could read it in her new Bible. She was so excited to read it for the first time! She expressed how much she was looking forward to her first christmas attending church. Somehow this led to the the topic of other important celebrations in the church- and I got to tell her about Easter for the first time too! And, she said again, "I can't wait to celebrate Easter in Church this next year for the first time too!"

OK- one more story. Last week I had a long conversation with a grandmother whose daughter wanted to study English but couldn't because of her young son. (In Japan, babysitters are almost unheard of.) As a high school and college student both, I worked part time at early childhood centers, and loved it! So, in talking with this woman, an idea sprouted- creating a class for mothers and their young children- an English play group of sorts. Research has shown the value of early exposure in langauge ability and development, and so many of these moms are itching to get out of the house and interact with other people. It's all just been in the idea stage this last week- but God seems to be taking the lead and the phones have suddenly been ringing off the hook with people who are interested in just such a class. Though its the last week of class for the semester- observers just keep walking in the doors, wanting to join the English school! Today a woman called wanting to join the English Bible study. What a reminder- we may be gearing up for vacation, but God's sure not!

Especially at this time of year, it can feel difficult being away from family. But I am so thankful that though I can't be with my own family, God is blessing the ministry here and has given me many brothers and sisters in Christ with whom I can celebrate His gift in Christ and the ways He is working here and now among us in the hearts of people.

The Motions

I had such an interesting experience today. One of the two kindergartens where I teach has no Christian teachers there, though it is a "Lutheran Kindergarten". The kindergartens were started by the churches in the area a number of years ago, but in recent years at this kindergarten, the need for staffing has led to hiring people who aren't Christian, and after a while, because there are so few Christians, the staff is now completely non-christian. The kindergarten is still connected to a church in the area, maybe a 20 minute drive away, by a man who serves as a sort of lay minister/Chaplin of the kindergarten. Every week when I teach there I attend the morning chapel with the kids, led by this older Japanese Christian gentleman. He leads the children in prayers, gives a message, and singing with the help of the teachers.

Today this man was absent, and tomorrow is the kindergarten's big Christmas family event. I watched today as these teachers led a rehearsal of the next day's worship with the children. None of them are Christian, not the teachers, not the students, and not the parents or families coming. So why are they having worship? Externally everything looked right- the acolyte bowed in all the right places, the standing and sitting, the sermonizing; they even practiced taking the offering. And, true to tradition and in fulfillment of western-Christianity stereotypes, they ended in candlelight, singing "Silent Night". But my heart was just heavy as I watched people go through the outward actions of something that has so much meaning for me. But what I witnessed instead was worship coming not from a thankful, believing heart, but rather following a prescribed pattern carried out for the sake of duty and tradition. Duty and tradition are not bad in and of themselves, but when it comes to worship, I believe without faith they are meaningless to those involved. The absence of God's presence was acute in that place.

The religion of Japan, being a blend of Shinto and Buddhism, is something that is followed by many in as far as prescriptions, rituals, and requirements, but if you ask a Japanese person whether or not they actually believe it, many will say "no" while others will stare at you blankly wondering what that has to do with anything. Religion often then is something that is culturally ingrained, rather than something that contains a genuine faith to which a person subscribes. So it's not so much of a stretch to see how, from their perspective, it is entirely possible to go through the motions of Christian worship without entering into worship.

I know I've asked before, but please pray for this site and these teachers- and also for the Christian leadership of these kindergartens, that they would discern God's leading in their ministry and bear fruit.

In the Last 5 Days

Friday I met a friend whose really seeking for dinner, and she came for the first time to worship with us in the evening. I continue to be amazed as I watch the way the pastor I serve with can take a Biblical text and find meaning in it that speaks specifically to the needs of an individual. Wow- I hope to learn a lot from this man- in whatever time it is that I have to learn from him. I gave this friend a Bible too- though not the translation she'd been talking about getting (she wants a Bilingual one), we have copies of the NT in Japanese that she was thrilled to receive, and, eyes wide upon receiving it, she told me she would treasure it! She stayed long after worship ended, enjoying community too.

Saturday we met with a group of students and Nomura Sensei and went caroling to church members and students homes. I can't even explain what a joy it was to bring the joy of Christmas to people through music- right into their homes. It's such a personal and intentional way of sharing the joy of Christ's birth with people. Going to the church members homes, though it seems small, was a wonderful opportunity to bring those two groups together, in a spirit of joy and hospitality.

On Sunday I was reminded of the importance of doing ministry with others, and the places and things we can do together with others that we couldn't do alone. This is true not only in terms of quantity and quality, but also in the kinds of relationships we are able to have with people and in enabling one another to live above reproach. We helped a friend in performing a new piece of music, then proceeded to dinner and karaoke. At dinner, my friend who I gave the Bible to was there, and when asked if she was Christian, she proceeded to tell the other woman at the table, "Not yet," and then went into the whole story of how she became interested in Christianity and found the church, etc. I of course, saw it as her sharing the story of how God was drawing her to himself, but she's just not quite there to see it as that yet. Praying she will soon...

Monday there was a one-day seminar at the church. Many people came from surrounding churches, and even a few students who aren't christian came. I was quite surprised to see many of the teachers from both mine and Haidees' kindergartens who aren't christian in attendance. The topic was, from what I gathered from others, about different aspects of your life (faith, physical, mental, emotional) and the source of our value- that is, from God. We are valuable not because of what we can do or even what we are, but rather because of whose we are! We are Gods'; we belong to Him, He made us, and paid a steep price in redeeming us! As God and His love are unchangeable and unshakable, so our value, derived from His disposition toward us, is also unchangeable and unshakable! What a thing to find comfort and hope in!

And today, Tuesday, I got to talking to another foreigner who also teaches English at the University. Somehow in our conversation we got onto the subject of church. He said that in England he'd attended the Church of England, but here, he thought all there were were Catholic churches, which he tried attending, but it didn't quite feel right- he didn't feel people were really meaning what they were saying and doing. (I'm not writing here to support or discredit his perspective, merely regurgitating what he said.) He seemed really excited to learn that there was a Lutheran church in the area, and said he wanted to come and see what it was like. What was perhaps the most interesting thing in this whole conversation, was that he said that when he hadn't felt anything in the Catholic churches, he decided to instead go to the local famous shrine. He said that there he felt something, "spiritual" (my word based on his impression), which is a really interesting observation! There is something spiritual there- a presence- but it is not of God! It's amazing that he recognizes it there. and so along with praying for him and that he comes to church, I'm also praying that God will help him to discern between the different kinds of spiritual presences he's sensing- and that he'll choose to dwell in the presence of God's light rather than the darkness on places like Hakusan shrine.

Jaa... it's so helpful to record these things and to remember them. In the midst of all this, yesterday for a time, I was struggling again serious self-doubt as to the value and effectiveness of my ministry here. Those thoughts are obviously not coming from God! And while God continues to assure me of His calling me here and the value He sees (in contrast to the world), I am still so thankful that God gives us tangible things to see and point back to- and, if I can exercise my "Lutheran" lingo here- tangible, our baptism points us to who we are and whose we are, the Lord's Supper points us to what He's done for us and assures us of our forgiveness, and having the privilege now and again to see how God is working and using us assures us that He hears and is answering our prayers- to be used by Him and bring glory to Him in proclaiming the one true hope and love to those He seeks to draw to Himself!

Fall Colors at Kamoyama Park

A little back blogged

So I'm a little back blogged as of late- but that is not to say things have not been happening, it seems to be quite the opposite. So I'll do my best to give a brief summary.

The last week of October was fall retreat for the VYM program in Tokyo. I along with another missionary and friend, Jenae, had the opportunity to plan and coordinate the retreat in conjunction with the director and assistant director who worked on the business side of things. The theme was "In His Hands" and we spent a lot of time worshiping, praying, and learning together in community over the course of the week. We even got away to a retreat center for the weekend near Mt. Fuji which we had great weather for and spectacular fall colors!

Then we jumped right back into classes and ministry in Niigata. I had the opportunity to attend the once a year, customary children's blessing that the churches have in coincidence with the custom of the native religion here. The churches offer it to families in lu of the pagan blessing, but for many non-christian families, I think it becomes in addition to. The blessing was held at the supporting church of the kindergarten I work at on Wednesdays in Sanjo (around 50 miles south of Niigata City). It was another good chance to connect with the families of the school and to meet the church members for the first time. In the past, the church in Sanjo has had a VYM missionary and English school as well, but it closed about two years ago to the sudden surprise and angst of the church members and there are still a lot of hurt feelings. Rather than go into all the nitty-gritty details of conflict that we know every church experiences in some way, I'll just ask for prayer for this church and the members there and the outreach of the kindergarten to the children and their families.

The next weekend was coffee house, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving we had a pie tasting event to which 30 people attended and polished off most of the 10 pies that had been prepared! I even made a chocolate pudding pie with a graham cracker crust- the graham crackers I made from scratch because, well, this is Japan and they're not so readily available. It was delicious! I had no idea you could actually make graham crackers- and they were so much better than what comes from the box!!! The second part of the coffee house was in preparation for advent- we decorated! It was wonderful to see such an intergenerational event (kids as young as 5, Jr. High-college students, young adults, middle agers, and retirees) where everyone worked together and people that normally wouldn't interact with certain people or age-groups thrown into it and loving it all! By far the best part of the coffee house was the after time- when the stragglers were just hanging out, talking, listening to a student play his guitar, eating pie straight from the pan armed with forks! The people who stuck around are the ones who have needs for relationships and interests at varying levels in Christianity. Yuko was there, the woman with whom I've been emailing back and forth youtube links to worship music, and Bible verses that she reads along with her prayers every night that she started doing after last month's coffee house. A student of Haidees, the guitar player, has a growing interest in the Gospel and has been attending regularly the Friday evening worship times, Saturday English Bible class, Thursdays Christmas choir, and volunteering with Haidee and Nomura Sensei (our pastor) playing music at nursing homes. He's really gotten into playing worship music for Friday's worship and at the nursing homes, and at coffee house, when we were all sitting around, it was him who insisted that people couldn't go until they'd sung "Who and I" and seen the following youtube link, which you, the reader, should definitely watch! http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=FVJqRLU3J0I At the end of the night, Yuko and another young woman who, because of life circumstances is really seeking God, both are planning to attend for the first time the Friday evening worship- tonight! I'm so thankful for these girls and the place to which God has brought them and the openness with which I can share with them about the gospel and their eagerness to hear!

The next day was Sunday, and the church hosted an organ concert that was just packed! There were around 100 people there! Pretty amazing for a church that usually has about 25-30 for weekly worship. The church targeted families with small children especially by offering part of the concert with familiar music to the kids, and then providing child care for the second half. It maybe doesn't sound or seem so extraordinary in our culture, but here, most concert fliers will say things like, "no children under 6" or "no children!". The church, in doing this, was able to send a different message to their community about the value and place of children! Many of our students came to, which was really good as well!

That speeds us up to this week! I'm working on getting a newsletter out soon- and will be posting another entry here again soon to! I hope and pray that you are well, wherever you find yourself, and if not well, then that you are finding comfort and joy in the knowledge that you are "In His Hands"!

Last Saturday's Coffee House

This week has flown by way too fast, but I can't let another day slip away without sharing about the amazing ways God is moving here- most recently seen at our once-monthly free English coffee house.

A woman came who is a huge switchfoot fan and has traveled to the US three times to see them play. It was because of her interest in their music that she became interested in Christianity and looked Nozomi Lutheran Church up on the internet and came to the Bible class a few weeks back. The theme was 'patience' and afterward, we got to talking about life, and I asked her if she was married and she said no, but that she wanted to be and really wanted to be a mother- but that she hadn't met the right person. So- being the nosy person you know me to be- I asked her if she'd dated much in the past, and she said yes, and her eyes began to well with tears as she told me it still hurts- that she can still remember one man in particular really well. So I started to tell her about God's love, and how we can take to him our hurts, our brokenness, and I referred to the song we'd used that night- everlasting God- and told her she could pray- that God could bring her hope- that he made her, that he knows her, and that he sees her hurt and wants to bring her healing- that he loved her and sent his son who gave his life for her- she was crying even more- and told me that from that night- she'd pray every night before bed. At first I thought she said she prays every night before bed- but she clarified that "from tonight" she will begin to pray every night before bed!!!!!!!

And there was a woman her age who is a church member, also not married, who was telling her all about where in Niigata she could get a good Bible that she'd be able to read and understand. This church member's faith has just been coming alive too- and God keeps putting her in places where he uses her in amazing ways!

There also was a man who came, Canadian, who teaches English in the area. He told Nomura Sensei at the beginning that he grew up in the catholic church, but that he's not christian. For the coffee house Haidee taught a song- "Everlasting God"- and we broke up into groups to talk about it. He was in my group and sat back with his arms crossed and asked me sceptically if these
Japanese people would even be able to grasp the concepts in the song. I said we'd try!

We talked a bit about it, then sang it- at the end, he said to me- "Wow- that's a great song! I love the guitar. The catholic church uses the organ and I hate the organ." He stayed around for worship after coffee house, and although he didn't want to sing, I gave him the words so he could read along if he wanted. After worship, he said that he feels like he should find a church, and he'd like to come here! Would you just look at the way God melted the ice around his heart!!!!

God's opening doors, bringing people, and touching them with His love through His word and the christian community here. It is such a blessing to watch and be a part of. I thank you for your prayers and ask you to continue to pray for Japan, especially for the people God is bringing as they are, having expressed interest in Christianity, in a vulnerable place in their new interest/faith. It is my hope and prayer that God would use you where you are to proclaim the gospel to those living in darkness, and I pray God would give you eyes to see and celebrate the ways He's moving and working! Blessings friends!