This past week was the first week of the new semester- "new" being the key word. I live in a new house, in a new city, with a new roommate, using new forms of transportation (bike, train, and foot everywhere- no car), new English school, new classes, new church and pastor I'm working with, a new site partner, and exciting new places to go running (forest trail, beach path, riverside path... I love it!). Teaching at the kindergartens wasn't new to me, but it was a wonderful reminder of why I love what I'm doing- I love their smiles, their laughs, the way they speak to me in Japanese thinking I can understand what they are saying (sometimes I can :) ), I love the energy they have, I love hearing them sing "Jesus loves me", jumping, laughing , and playing together. My other classes have been wonderful too- seeing many familiar faces, and some new; catching up on each others lives and sharing tasty souvenirs coming from all parts of the world!
A few posts ago, I alluded to the crossroads that the congregation I was working with had come to. I don't know how to diplomatically say this, but the congregation decided to close the English school at Shirone Lutheran Church. When the proposal was brought up by the pastor, the church council members were very upset, and upon more conversation and voting, voted 6 to 2 to keep it open, but because it was the pastor's idea and desire they decided to follow him rather than create friction within the small congregation. If it were simply a matter of the church feeling God's leading in a different direction of ministry, that would be one thing- but the pastor's motives were coming out of pride and an unwillingness to submit to the authority over him regarding a significant offense he'd committed toward the missionaries and ultimately the church. We tired in so many different ways to talk, to try to work things out, for reconciliation, but he was unwilling to admit to any guilt on his part, and only became more defensive. The form of his defensiveness made the environment increasingly hostile, and it was decided that it was unsafe and unhealthy for the missionaries to remain living or teaching in Shirone. So the English school was closed suddenly, 6 months before the end of the school year, and Haidee and I were moved to the other church in Niigata Prefecture that has a VYM program- Nozomi Lutheran Church. Here I feel so incredible blessed to be working along-side two other American missionaries, a wonderfully gifted, mission-minded pastor, and a congregation of people with many passions and gifts for ministry. I am very excited to see where God takes things- there are so many potienial ways and opportunities through which we can do ministry here!
I will definitely admit that it has been a bit of a bumpy road- and that at times, I've felt the temptation of despair- but I've learned a lot about prayer, perspective, and the crosses that God is calling us to bear and the unseen purposes He has for them. In the midst of the situation, I realized that there were two ways I could choose to look at what was going on around me; through eyes that see the material, physical, and actual happenings of the situation, or, through eyes of faith. The first fed into the temptation to despair, fear, and give up. The second though- was firmly rooted in the realization that this all began with prayer. We began to be more intentional and purposeful about prayer- specifically for the church and for unity. My site partner Haidee every started a 40 day Blessing email to her supporters who joined us in praying powerful prayers of forgiveness, love, unity, and freedom for the churches and members here in Niigata. The more we prayed, the "worse" things appeared to be. And the "worse" things appeared, the more we prayed. I cannot tell you how many times, how many ways, and in all of the places that God brought just the right word, person, or event into the picture to provide for the exact situation or need- long before we knew they were needed. (What a faithful God we have!) It soon became evident that God, like a gardener in a vineyard, was pruning His church in order to make it fruitful. It sounds like such a easy and lovely image, but it involves cutting, breaking, and the use of sharp and painful instruments. But in the end it is good- it brings forth more fruit, healthy fruit, through which many more seedlings and fruit may then come forth. But it can be hard and uncomfortable to watch and be involved in the pain of it all.
I had no idea that God would use me in the ways that he did, and for what purposes I was being used- in many ways I still don't. But I came to the realization that when I "offer myself up as a living sacrifice" (Rom. 12:1) that I don't have a say in how this sacrifice will then be used. It's up to the maker. It's up to God, and I have said I'm willing and I am- I just don't know for what! But all the same, it has been a humbling experience to not be used in this situation by the gifts I feel are more "desirable" or "admirable", but in other ways; parts of myself I don't like to share or don't want others to know are there. God takes them and uses them all! He redeems them all! He heals them all! He works for good in all (Rom. 8:28)!
So although I am not physically in the situation, I continue to pray for the congregation and the pastor, and I ask that those of you who are reading this do the same. I am not sorry for a minute and have no regrets about the way in which I have been used here thus far and continuing in ministry here. I have a deep love for the people I meet and those with whom I see on a regular basis. Little by little, as my Japanese improves, I see new doors opening, new relationships forming, and new potential depths in existing ones. I can't wait to see all that God has in store! Truly, thank you for keeping me and the ministry with which I am serving in your prayers.
A few posts ago, I alluded to the crossroads that the congregation I was working with had come to. I don't know how to diplomatically say this, but the congregation decided to close the English school at Shirone Lutheran Church. When the proposal was brought up by the pastor, the church council members were very upset, and upon more conversation and voting, voted 6 to 2 to keep it open, but because it was the pastor's idea and desire they decided to follow him rather than create friction within the small congregation. If it were simply a matter of the church feeling God's leading in a different direction of ministry, that would be one thing- but the pastor's motives were coming out of pride and an unwillingness to submit to the authority over him regarding a significant offense he'd committed toward the missionaries and ultimately the church. We tired in so many different ways to talk, to try to work things out, for reconciliation, but he was unwilling to admit to any guilt on his part, and only became more defensive. The form of his defensiveness made the environment increasingly hostile, and it was decided that it was unsafe and unhealthy for the missionaries to remain living or teaching in Shirone. So the English school was closed suddenly, 6 months before the end of the school year, and Haidee and I were moved to the other church in Niigata Prefecture that has a VYM program- Nozomi Lutheran Church. Here I feel so incredible blessed to be working along-side two other American missionaries, a wonderfully gifted, mission-minded pastor, and a congregation of people with many passions and gifts for ministry. I am very excited to see where God takes things- there are so many potienial ways and opportunities through which we can do ministry here!
I will definitely admit that it has been a bit of a bumpy road- and that at times, I've felt the temptation of despair- but I've learned a lot about prayer, perspective, and the crosses that God is calling us to bear and the unseen purposes He has for them. In the midst of the situation, I realized that there were two ways I could choose to look at what was going on around me; through eyes that see the material, physical, and actual happenings of the situation, or, through eyes of faith. The first fed into the temptation to despair, fear, and give up. The second though- was firmly rooted in the realization that this all began with prayer. We began to be more intentional and purposeful about prayer- specifically for the church and for unity. My site partner Haidee every started a 40 day Blessing email to her supporters who joined us in praying powerful prayers of forgiveness, love, unity, and freedom for the churches and members here in Niigata. The more we prayed, the "worse" things appeared to be. And the "worse" things appeared, the more we prayed. I cannot tell you how many times, how many ways, and in all of the places that God brought just the right word, person, or event into the picture to provide for the exact situation or need- long before we knew they were needed. (What a faithful God we have!) It soon became evident that God, like a gardener in a vineyard, was pruning His church in order to make it fruitful. It sounds like such a easy and lovely image, but it involves cutting, breaking, and the use of sharp and painful instruments. But in the end it is good- it brings forth more fruit, healthy fruit, through which many more seedlings and fruit may then come forth. But it can be hard and uncomfortable to watch and be involved in the pain of it all.
I had no idea that God would use me in the ways that he did, and for what purposes I was being used- in many ways I still don't. But I came to the realization that when I "offer myself up as a living sacrifice" (Rom. 12:1) that I don't have a say in how this sacrifice will then be used. It's up to the maker. It's up to God, and I have said I'm willing and I am- I just don't know for what! But all the same, it has been a humbling experience to not be used in this situation by the gifts I feel are more "desirable" or "admirable", but in other ways; parts of myself I don't like to share or don't want others to know are there. God takes them and uses them all! He redeems them all! He heals them all! He works for good in all (Rom. 8:28)!
So although I am not physically in the situation, I continue to pray for the congregation and the pastor, and I ask that those of you who are reading this do the same. I am not sorry for a minute and have no regrets about the way in which I have been used here thus far and continuing in ministry here. I have a deep love for the people I meet and those with whom I see on a regular basis. Little by little, as my Japanese improves, I see new doors opening, new relationships forming, and new potential depths in existing ones. I can't wait to see all that God has in store! Truly, thank you for keeping me and the ministry with which I am serving in your prayers.
1 comment:
a wonderful post, Lindsey. It sounds like you've learned so much, grown in so many ways. I'm glad to hear you're excited to start fresh again. Sending love and prayers!
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